Passive Agressive Parking Cards Video Game Mario Update

Consider this a generational shift from Gen X to Millenials, who recognize Mario far quicker than Mickey.

Capitalization Counts - Let them know with the Uncle Jack Card!

Let Their Imagination Work Against Their Typing Laziness!

Do you think your uncle offered gloves before you got down to the task at hand? Who held the specimen jar? Did you get any on you? Wish you'd only used that oft-ignored 'Shift' key for clarification? Gonna start calling your uncle by his proper name: John? These are best slipped into student papers at any level of eduction, but only college kids might get the joke.

Dear Earthling Novelty Cards (12-Pack)

12-Pack of Smile-Inducing Novelty Business Cards. Great ice-breakers!

"I feel so...violated. This business card had sex with my fingers, and I liked it!"

These full-color business cards are printed onto 14pt. ultra-thick cardstock, then coated with a UV gloss covering. They'll hold up well in your wallet, ready to make any passer-by's day with a smile and a keepsake to pass along from their other-worldly random sexual encounter.

You're Wrong' Courtesy Reminder Cards

When having a debate, you can always say "I've got something here that says You're Wrong."

Now if I could only staple these to people who deserve them, to warn future conversationalists that this liar has been caught before. Instead, I passive-agressively hand them this and walk away, triumphant in my prepardedness. Comes packed as a bakers dozen (that's 13, lucky!) in a recycleable glassine envelope with paper label.

Nosey Little Fucker Set of 2 Pinbacks

Quickly insult people who can read tiny type! Or just break the ice-breaker.

You'll see the little old ladies trying her hardest to strike up a conversation with you, the wearer of this dignified pin. She'll lean in real close, adjust her bifocals to read the super-tiny type on the button front, then gasp when she sees the obvious insult. Yup, you’ll have another lonely day at home, Grandma, cooking bland food for your dumb kids and grandkids, or simply waiting to die in her old age home. If only she could have brightened your life with her presence.

Decidedly Decisive Set of 2 Pinbacks

Simple Answers on Colorful Backgrounds make answering questions easy by pointing!

I imagine a harried mother buys this set of pinbacks and dutifully pins them to her blouse every morning. Every time one of her dumb kids asks her a question she simply points. Lately, the kids have been pushing boundaries, and Mom is using the ‘No’ button a lot. Kids are so damn needy these days, and instantly bored; it’s like they need a constant stream of entertainment to get through this dull, boring life. The ‘Yes’ button gets all the real use in the bedroom.

Procrastination Meter Set of 2 Pinbacks

Subtly show you're working hard on it. If 'it' means waiting.

I'll get around to finishing the copy for this package as soon as the other one million things on my plate are also done. Maybe not done, but simply accounted for? If I put them on a list, then reorganized the list, it’d feel like I accomplished something even though I'm simply procrastinating the actual work at hand. Yeah lists of lists would make me feel organized, and every time I scratched something off the list, I might feel a sense of accomplishment. Maybe.

Round Tuit Set of 2 Pinbacks

It's the flair you'll end up needing daily!

One of these days, I'm gonna take the few minutes of time to actually write decent copy on the back of this packaging that no one will ever read. If only I had a Round Tuit with me to inspire me to get around to it. We include two in this package, so you can give one to a friend who’s always complaining about meeting up with you but somehow is waiting for a Round Tuit to set the date. Do not expect outrageous or unnatural activity due to this button. Seriously.

Sports Fan (Oscillating, Ceiling) Set of 2 Pinbacks

Hate Sports? Love Fans? You're in the right place!

Oh boy do I love sports. It’s un-american if you ask me to not love sports. Not only do we schedule our lives and season around it, it’s a perfect example of male dominance and unrequited brutality of yesteryear. Now, the sports I like might not be the same as yours. Personally, I'm a huge Ceiling Fan, but I can be persuaded to put on my Oscillating Fan hat every now and then. It depends how they do this season. I'm looking forward to the end-of-the-season blow-out.

Fight Apathy Eventually Set of 2 Pinbacks

Get off your couch and join the revolution! Tomorrow!

I was really psyched up to write this description, but once push came to shove, I was unable to craft the prose required to describe this lackadaisical call-to-arms of this generation. I mean, it’s not like there’s no time. I'm young and healthy, and have years to get around to showing my disdain for the Apathy rampantly demonstrated in life and on television. At some point, I'll be bored and say to myself, “Now. Now is the time to act against Apathy. Let’s go!"

Missing Image Set of 2 Pinbacks

Not a factory error but a statement of Anti-branding

Synergies are what helps capture scale e-business implements and orchestrates it to be a ubiquitous scaled virtual collaborative. We evolve content feeds to be web-enabled; podcasting world-class, action-items dynamically. Frictionless best-of-breed orchestrate infrastructures e-services, reinvent exploit data-driven repurpose, 24/7!

Be A Lert Set of 2 Pinbacks

A small portion of the proceeds of the sale of these pins will go to the U.S. Lert Education Foundation

I tried be a Lert once. It worked out OK, I guess. You'd think it'd be simply sitting around enjoying the day, but it’s a lot of looking around. Turns out Lerts are hunted and nearly extinct. They've learned to be so paranoid, they're always scanning the horizon for hunters and snipers. Yes, snipers. It takes years of training in the military to get the skills you’d need to take out a Lert. Their noses are so sensitive, you have to be 2 miles away to get a shot without warning them.