I live in a big old building in center city Philadelphia. As it is, our building used to house a handful of corporations, where they shared a common office labor and conference rooms for annual shareholder meetings. Most of the 'corporations' were probably nothing more than fancy shell corporations used to derive 'membership income' for 'services rendered'.

Occasionally, we get a random piece of mail to a defunct corporation at our building. This time, I'd decided I'd break the law, and open it to answer it. My legal attitude is that I'm the acting 'Santa' of this undeliverable letter to the North Pole, fulfilling one wish at a time. This particular letter was mailed to the obviously named:

National Kerosene Association

Here's what I received (I've obscured all the personal details):

I popped open a browser window, and hit everyone's favorite omniscient overload search engine with this query:

And below is my handwritten response, based on the top 10 results, dutifully copied offline for postal door-to-door service. I used their thoughtfully enclosed SASE to mail it back to them. Hopefully this will satisfy their question. Maybe next time they can save the 90¢ in postage and go to the library to use the 'internet' for free.